Heyho!! We're currently in the second half of this year. So, how was this year treat you?
This time I would like to share about the recap of the first half of 2016. Some bits and pieces that I've been going through in the last 6 months.
I looked back and discovered some remarkable moments that happened during this incredible year. The good and the bad.
So, here's the list:
1. Bandung and satria cendekia.
The first remarkable moments I had this year is meeting new incredible people which is now my best friends. I also had a great time with them in Bandung for approximately three months. Our togetherness is not that long but I didn't know that it turns us into best friends for each other. Anyways, perhaps you're curious about the name of 'Satria Cendekia', I can't tell anything since I also forgot what makes us come up with that name. Haha.
I remember the time when we have to back to our own place. I sent some of them to the airport. And although we knew that we would come back, but there is no guarantee that everything will stay the same. And also, there is still a slight possibility that I would never see them again.
Bandung became so empty during those days after they left. Just like the first time I came. It was lonely and cold (literally and figuratively). I realized that when you come to a new place, what excites you is not only the place, but also the people, the surroundings, people you met and surrounds you and accompany you.
And also, when it was my turn to came back home, I felt sooo blue and uneasy. That day I left kos at 3 am, pick my friends up but unluckily they were still asleep (errrr -___-) so I went to the airport alone. I cried on the taxi, on the airport, and on the plan. I cried all along my flight from Bandung to Makassar. It was gloomy. My feeling was mixed up so I didn't know which one is dominant. I felt like I don't want to leave Bandung, but even if I stay, it still doesn't matter. I would still feel empty.
I really wished to come back soon, but unfortunately, I didn't make it. So I guess that day was my last day in Bandung.
2. My mom's surgery.
When I went back home, my mom was not in her best health. We went to some doctors at several hospitals, and after a long and tiring procces, the doctors decided to do a surgery to her.
I remember all those hard time when my mom was hospitalized and I have to take care of her, alone. Everything was so tiring. Oh yeah, I was preparing my entrance exam that time. Could you imagine how crowded my head was?
Although I it was tiring, but honestly I felt honored to be the one who was taking care of her at her hard time. She once told me that she was happy because I was there when she needed help. She said that she has no one else but me. Actually, other family member would be fine to help her and take care of her, but she didn't want to bother others' bussiness. So, yes, I was the one who was fully available and trusted. Moreover, compare to everything she has been done for me, it was nothing. It was the least I could do for her.
What breaks my heart was seeing her endure the pain after the surgery. She vommited every minutes and I couldn't do anything. I just helped her to vomit at the plastic bag or weap it if it splattered. You know, nothing can break your heart more than seeing your loved one suffering the pain. I cried silently at the bathroom because it was so heart-breaking.
Alhamdulillah the days after the surgery was quite fine. Some of my friends came to see her and they brought me snacks too. Haha. And also there is my best friend who came everyday to accompany me and she brought us everything we need. It means a lot since I have many things to do like taking care of my mom's medicine, insurance, laundry, and other things, but after the surgery I couldn't leave her more than a minute so I needed at least one person to stay with me.
Oh yeah, she even cooked for my mom because the hospital's food is not delicious. Haha. She helped us until we back home. (Thanks a lot, dear!)
Like I mentioned before, those days I was busy preparing my entrance exam for postgraduate program. But the hope of passing the exam succesfully changed into the hope of my mom's recovering. There was no more ITB on my prayer. Those days, I hoped nothing but my mom's health, I hoped nothing but my mom's happiness.
3. My cousins' wedding.
Oh my God I couldn't believe at first that my cousins, who is in the same age with me, well she's actually younger, would be someone's wife. Haha. We've been togehther since we were born. We grew up together, played together, we know each other's stories, we know each other's boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, crushes, and even secrets. Haha. Yes we are very close. I know all of her love stories, and you know what? Most of those relationships didn't work! But this guy is different, the guy who's turns out being her last. The way she talk about him, was absolutely different. Then I knew, she was in love. Truly and deeply in love.
Of course, that most ultimate annoying question always come to me. That 'kapan nyusul' kind of question and all the things related. Smiling is the only way to answer.
But deep inside my heart, I truly hope that it will be my turn someday, when I'm ready to face a challange called marriage. And of course, when I finally find that lucky man :)
4. Ramadhan.
Ramadhan always brings a warm-heart situation. Everything is so different during Ramadhan. This year too. It was really exciting doing the fasting and the sahoor, the break-fasting, and the prayer. I can't tell more about it since it is something more private (all about prayer is something that only you and Your Creator know, right?)
In the middle of this blessed month, we got a good news from my cousins, she is pregnant! Oh my god I couldn't believe that by next year she will be a mother. InshaaAllah.
Sadly, this ramadhan didn't give a happy ending for me. I got my period on the last week. Anddddd I also got a bad news. A very bad news (If you want to know, see more below.)
Ramadhan leaves a hope in our heart, The hope is always the same: wish we have a chance to meet it on the next year.
5. Rejection.
Yuhuuuu, here we come to my first rejection of this year (and I hope it will be the last). I don't want to talk much about this one. You can read it in my previous post, here and here, if you have time. But you better to not open it. Haha.
I've prepared my self for the worst possibility, but I still keep the hope inside me. And you know, the fire of hope is the most powerful weapon that sadly can attack you instead of defend you. Yes, the rule is clear, the higher you hope, the more dissapointment you get when it's not fulfilled.
It was really hard to let the dream that shaped most of my heart go. I didn't tell my family nor my friends at first. I wanted to calm my self down before telling them because I wanted to tell them easily like it was not a big deal. I wanted to be like 'hey I failed! I was rejected! Hahahaha!"
Alhamdulillah, time heals. Sometimes this failure still haunts me. But I'm glad I finally told everyone. It means that the wound is finally healed. And now, all I have to do is just to find another opportunity, to try another challange, and to find another place. And still hope for another miracle. :))
Soooo yeah! I think that's all. Now, I hope I can make a brand new start everyday. More importantly, I hope to be granted with more happiness, patiance, courage and endurance to face the rest of this year and also the other years ahead. And I hope I can still have a hope inside of me. Because it's the sign that I'm living my life, not just surviving it :)
That's all for tonight. Good night, see you on the next updates!
This time I would like to share about the recap of the first half of 2016. Some bits and pieces that I've been going through in the last 6 months.
I looked back and discovered some remarkable moments that happened during this incredible year. The good and the bad.
So, here's the list:
1. Bandung and satria cendekia.
The first remarkable moments I had this year is meeting new incredible people which is now my best friends. I also had a great time with them in Bandung for approximately three months. Our togetherness is not that long but I didn't know that it turns us into best friends for each other. Anyways, perhaps you're curious about the name of 'Satria Cendekia', I can't tell anything since I also forgot what makes us come up with that name. Haha.
I remember the time when we have to back to our own place. I sent some of them to the airport. And although we knew that we would come back, but there is no guarantee that everything will stay the same. And also, there is still a slight possibility that I would never see them again.
Bandung became so empty during those days after they left. Just like the first time I came. It was lonely and cold (literally and figuratively). I realized that when you come to a new place, what excites you is not only the place, but also the people, the surroundings, people you met and surrounds you and accompany you.
And also, when it was my turn to came back home, I felt sooo blue and uneasy. That day I left kos at 3 am, pick my friends up but unluckily they were still asleep (errrr -___-) so I went to the airport alone. I cried on the taxi, on the airport, and on the plan. I cried all along my flight from Bandung to Makassar. It was gloomy. My feeling was mixed up so I didn't know which one is dominant. I felt like I don't want to leave Bandung, but even if I stay, it still doesn't matter. I would still feel empty.
I really wished to come back soon, but unfortunately, I didn't make it. So I guess that day was my last day in Bandung.
2. My mom's surgery.
When I went back home, my mom was not in her best health. We went to some doctors at several hospitals, and after a long and tiring procces, the doctors decided to do a surgery to her.
I remember all those hard time when my mom was hospitalized and I have to take care of her, alone. Everything was so tiring. Oh yeah, I was preparing my entrance exam that time. Could you imagine how crowded my head was?
Although I it was tiring, but honestly I felt honored to be the one who was taking care of her at her hard time. She once told me that she was happy because I was there when she needed help. She said that she has no one else but me. Actually, other family member would be fine to help her and take care of her, but she didn't want to bother others' bussiness. So, yes, I was the one who was fully available and trusted. Moreover, compare to everything she has been done for me, it was nothing. It was the least I could do for her.
What breaks my heart was seeing her endure the pain after the surgery. She vommited every minutes and I couldn't do anything. I just helped her to vomit at the plastic bag or weap it if it splattered. You know, nothing can break your heart more than seeing your loved one suffering the pain. I cried silently at the bathroom because it was so heart-breaking.
Alhamdulillah the days after the surgery was quite fine. Some of my friends came to see her and they brought me snacks too. Haha. And also there is my best friend who came everyday to accompany me and she brought us everything we need. It means a lot since I have many things to do like taking care of my mom's medicine, insurance, laundry, and other things, but after the surgery I couldn't leave her more than a minute so I needed at least one person to stay with me.
Oh yeah, she even cooked for my mom because the hospital's food is not delicious. Haha. She helped us until we back home. (Thanks a lot, dear!)
Like I mentioned before, those days I was busy preparing my entrance exam for postgraduate program. But the hope of passing the exam succesfully changed into the hope of my mom's recovering. There was no more ITB on my prayer. Those days, I hoped nothing but my mom's health, I hoped nothing but my mom's happiness.
3. My cousins' wedding.
Oh my God I couldn't believe at first that my cousins, who is in the same age with me, well she's actually younger, would be someone's wife. Haha. We've been togehther since we were born. We grew up together, played together, we know each other's stories, we know each other's boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, crushes, and even secrets. Haha. Yes we are very close. I know all of her love stories, and you know what? Most of those relationships didn't work! But this guy is different, the guy who's turns out being her last. The way she talk about him, was absolutely different. Then I knew, she was in love. Truly and deeply in love.
Of course, that most ultimate annoying question always come to me. That 'kapan nyusul' kind of question and all the things related. Smiling is the only way to answer.
But deep inside my heart, I truly hope that it will be my turn someday, when I'm ready to face a challange called marriage. And of course, when I finally find that lucky man :)
4. Ramadhan.
Ramadhan always brings a warm-heart situation. Everything is so different during Ramadhan. This year too. It was really exciting doing the fasting and the sahoor, the break-fasting, and the prayer. I can't tell more about it since it is something more private (all about prayer is something that only you and Your Creator know, right?)
In the middle of this blessed month, we got a good news from my cousins, she is pregnant! Oh my god I couldn't believe that by next year she will be a mother. InshaaAllah.
Sadly, this ramadhan didn't give a happy ending for me. I got my period on the last week. Anddddd I also got a bad news. A very bad news (If you want to know, see more below.)
Ramadhan leaves a hope in our heart, The hope is always the same: wish we have a chance to meet it on the next year.
5. Rejection.
Yuhuuuu, here we come to my first rejection of this year (and I hope it will be the last). I don't want to talk much about this one. You can read it in my previous post, here and here, if you have time. But you better to not open it. Haha.
I've prepared my self for the worst possibility, but I still keep the hope inside me. And you know, the fire of hope is the most powerful weapon that sadly can attack you instead of defend you. Yes, the rule is clear, the higher you hope, the more dissapointment you get when it's not fulfilled.
It was really hard to let the dream that shaped most of my heart go. I didn't tell my family nor my friends at first. I wanted to calm my self down before telling them because I wanted to tell them easily like it was not a big deal. I wanted to be like 'hey I failed! I was rejected! Hahahaha!"
Alhamdulillah, time heals. Sometimes this failure still haunts me. But I'm glad I finally told everyone. It means that the wound is finally healed. And now, all I have to do is just to find another opportunity, to try another challange, and to find another place. And still hope for another miracle. :))
Soooo yeah! I think that's all. Now, I hope I can make a brand new start everyday. More importantly, I hope to be granted with more happiness, patiance, courage and endurance to face the rest of this year and also the other years ahead. And I hope I can still have a hope inside of me. Because it's the sign that I'm living my life, not just surviving it :)
That's all for tonight. Good night, see you on the next updates!
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