I used to like to be alone. I can do anything I want without worrying about others. I always enjoy my me-time. I like to go to anywhere with myself because going with others will make me be depending on them. I liked to explore new places with myself. Yes, my self is enough for my company.
I enjoyed being with my own. I liked to stay at my room for hours (with bunch of snacks, good movies, good dramas, good books). I didn't need any internet connection, I never touched my phone, and the door and window were always closed. Yes, I really enjoyed that.
Sometimes, I went to the public space just with my own. Looking at the people, taking picture, doing silly things, alone. Sometimes I just went around the city by motorcycle with no direction. Alone. Sometimes I spent hours in bookstore (Being surrounded by books is my mood booster). Alone.
No, I'm not an introvert. Ask my close friends or family, they know me really well. I just feel comfortable with my own company. I have many friends to talk to or to hang out with. But going out with my own company makes me feel very much independent. Of course you can gladly offer your company, but I will politely reject it.
But something strange happens now. Staying for 3 months in Bandung with my friends which I just know for 3 months too, have changed me a little bit. I never feel good when I'm alone now. I didn't enjoy my own company anymore. I feel like I need someone to talk to. I cannot take my eyes off of whatsapp group just to keep in touch with them. I thought I will be alright when they leave. Turns out, I'm not. There is something strange I feel after they left.
Here I am now, sitting alone in my favorite fastfood restaurant, with my favorite menu. Alone. But with different feeling. A-very-not-good feeling.
I miss my friends. This town is suddenly change. It turns to grey now. No more colors like it used to.
This burger and coffee cannot console me anymore. I miss my friends. I miss them so much.
Now I feel nothing but lonely.
I need companion to keep me sane.
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