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A Challenging Year

Heyho! I miss writing this blog in english. My english is getting worse these days. Haven't use it either in verbal or written. My vocabolary is stuck and my grammar is messy. I think I should read more, write more and listen more.

I once wrote about the first half of this year here. I realized that I haven't post anything about 2016 anymore until it finally came to the end. And now, we're already on the 3rd week of 2017.

So the rest of 2016 was mostly about school. After a heartbreaking rejection, I finally got my LoA in one of reputable university in country. Postgraduate school of Bogor Agricultural University granted me a seat at Applied Maths Departements.

After a long journey, from being a scholarship hunter until an LoA fighter, I finally settled here. I accepted it half-heartedly at first, but now I can't thank enough. I met great people here. I learned many things, I got a lot of friends (not too many actually, hehe). And one of the most memorable moments was Persiapan Keberangkatan (PK). I wrote about it here.

But talking about the school, it is not going as smooth as I thought. I've never been this hard in studying because I feel like being the dumbest student in the class. After leaving university for 2 years, I clearly forgot everything I've learned. Moreover, being surrounded by brilliant students surely dropped my self confidence to the lowest level.

After the midterm, I cried almost everyday, haha! It was so heart-breaking to see those scores. I blamed myself for being too stupid. haha!

I also faced some personal problems. Most of them caused by my immaturity of thingking. There was an internal battle inside me. I really hope I could write everything here. I never talk about my personal problem to anyone, so this blog is the place where I can be the realest. Turns out I can't. So let's forget it. I hope this year I could be a better person. No thingking too much, no worrying too much and any other 'too much'. 

So that's all for 2016. Let's move on.
This year began with final exam of this term. yeay! such a good start for a great year, huh? haha! It was better than the midterm, but still far from good. Hufth. The result haven't been announced yet, so I could have some times to breathe.

Anyways, talking about 2017, I never made any certain resolutions about new year before. But now, I think I should make one. I have some resolutions for this year. I actually never thought that new year is a new beginning. Because everyday is a new beginning. So let say that tomorrow is the beginning. mhaha!

I've started to think about an healthy life since long time ago but I always failed at the first try. But now I will seriously start it. It is not only for me, but also for my future. This is one way to prepare my self to be a mother. It starts from reducing an unhealthy food and doing an excersise everyday. yuhuuuyy.

I also want to be more productive and postive. Being a positive person is my major goal this year. that's why I use a word 'challenging' instead of 'hard' or 'difficult' or any other negative words for the title of this post. And I also want to spread it to people around me.

What about marriage? I think I should be more patient for this one. I look at my self and find out that I am not ready at all. Many things needed to be fixed. As I growing up, my definition about marriage slowly changed. It's not only about having a romantic relationship, it's more about responsibility, commitment, teamwork and also a challange. So I set a new standard for my self before entering a marriage life.

Actually I have some more resolutions but I will save it for myself only. :)

I think that's all for tonight. Lastly, I hope to be granted with more patience and courage to face whatever life brings this year. Also a good health for me, my family and my friends.

Don't forget to be positive, my dear self, and you guys too :*

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