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Random Thoughts

1. I think I miss my home because I feel like I need a space to refill my self. I dont know, I just feel so empty and I wanna fix myself. Or perhaps I just want to avoid reality, avoid people.

2. I feel like myself is divided into two parts. The good one and the bad one. And I hate the fact that the bad part is taking turn at the moment. Actually it plays the main role most of the times. My mind is driven by bad thoughts and now I'm mad at myself for unknown reason.

3. Bogor is so cold these days. I love the weather but It's not really good for me. There is a bump on my neck and I also got diarrhea for two days. But I'm good, I have a very strong body thanks to my immune system. But I also feel so sorry to my body for not taking care of it. I fill my stomach with unhealthy food. It makes me feel bad but it's better than not taking food at all (in my opinion). And yeah, I take my vitamins on daily basis, it's good isn't it.

4. I promised to let myself work on autopilot mode and ignore the sadness, excitement, worry, fear, and yearning. I failed of course, I still overthink.

5. I'm turning 25 this year and the number hits me really hard. I'm (supposed to be) a mature young woman now. I know I'm still on my way to be a good person. I can see my personality grows eventhough it drops to the lowest level sometimes but still under control.

6. I just came back from Bara to buy some foods and I saw the sunlight peering from the cloud and I felt so warm. Then I saw the crowded on the road and I felt good. It's funny that sometimes the calmness comes from the simple and unexpected things like that.

7. I miss my family, I miss someone, I miss so many people lately. Hope they're doing well.

8. There will be a blood moon phenomenon tonight. Not so excited but I'm gonna watch it for sure.


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