The Unspoken

There are three things that always make me want to run away when I faced them. They are always get me on nerves whenever I have to face one of them. The first one is entering new environment and facing new people. Second, injection and medicine, and the last one, being proposed. Entering new environment is really exciting yet worrying me at the same time. There will be many questions come to my head, 'will I survive'? 'will the people like me?' 'will I feel suitable with them?' But the most important question is, will the people accept and respect me? myself? my presence? my weakness? Being acceptable is always be my number one problem when facing new people. That's why when I already feel comfort with my surrounding, I will always want to be with them forever, I don't want to change my circumstances. Unluckily, the world is not always work as you wish. Your surrounding will not last forever. The changes of circumstances is an inevitability that you ha...

I'm in the mood to tell about one of my past learning. It's about my first loss of someone I love. When I was a child, I lived with my grandparents because of several reasons. I live with my grandmother and grand father from mother side. Therefore my grandma and grandpa is like a mother and father to me. Long story short, I finally entered my high school. My school was quite far from my village, so I decided to live with my aunt whose house is quite near from my school. I went home every Saturday after school, and came back at Monday in the early morning. In my second half of first year in high school, I was selected to be one of paskibraka team who will perform at Independence Day. I became busy with all of my activities. But I still had a time to went back home every week. But then, 3 months before the D-Day (Independence Day), our team became much more busy, we trained more intensively even in the weekend. So, I couldn't went home for about 2 months. One day, one...

Reading, for me, is not just an activity. It is an experience. Actually, I am not a bookworm. I just enjoy reading. Bookstore is my favorite place to go and spending money to buy some books is not a big deal for me. My reading adventure began when I was very little. I was able to read before I entered my kindergarten. And that time I always read Bobo, a magazine for children. My parents bought me Bobo every week. I like to read it and tell the story I had read to my parents. As I grew up, reading Bobo was never change. I still bought it every weeks. I save my money for buying it. My parents were never allowed me to buy a magazine for teen even though I already wear a white-grey uniform. So I kept reading Bobo until my last year in high school. During my junior high school, I rarely went to the bookstore because there was no bookstore in my hometown. So every school holidays, I went to Palu and the first place I visited was bookstore. The excitement of visiting bookstore and being s...

Assalamualaikum.. Finally I can successfully drag my self to write something here. As I wrote in my recent post, I had the second progress test of TOEFL couple days ago (weeks maybe). And the result revealed the next day. ANDDDDD!!! I got much better score this time! yeay!! Alhamdulillah. Well, I didn't expect to get this score, because I had so much trouble during the test. In the first section, Listening Comprehension Section, I lost my focus (as always), and I tried to applied one of our teacher's trick, that is read and translate the options first before listen the conversation and choose the right answer. But I ended up trying to guess what the question will be and it confound my focus. The trick didn't work on me. And what even worse is that I cannot fill the answer sheet after I choose the answer. And in the end of the test, I need extra time to fill my answer into the answer sheet. I think I'd better to listen the conversation and listen the question ...

Hello there! How's your life so far? It is boring, isn't it? I promise you it will be much happier after you find me. Husband, I haven't know who you are, where are you now, what is your goal in life, your desire, your favorite food or drinks, your sports, your games, your books, and many other things. But it doesn't matter now. We will know each other as the time goes by. Actually this letter is about some things that I want to tell you. There are some things I want you to know about me. Maybe it can be your consideration before you take me as a part of your life (as you read it, just imagine that we already had our relationship). It's not for my benefit, it is for ours. Both of us. So please, read to the very end. 1. I am human and I have weakness. I am human, I make mistakes, I commit sins. But trust me, I'm on my way to be a better person now. I have trying to fix myself before I decided to take a bigger responsibility as your wife. I will always t...

Senja Senja adalah puisi. Aku selalu menyukainya. Entah karena dia yang begitu romantis dan selalu saja menghiasi puisiku. Atau mungkin karena selalu mengingatkanku pada rumah. Tempat dimana masalah seperti tak berarti. Hujan Hujan adalah anugerah. Tak pernah ku membencinya. Titik-titik airnya memahamkanku akan karunia Tuhan, yang kedatangannya adalah untuk disyukuri bukan disesali. Bukan pelangi yang ku nanti, tapi bau tanah yang menyengat. Buku Buku adalah sahabat. Tak pernah bosan aku dengannya. Bersamanya adalah penenang, pengobat, penyembuh. Meski kadang hanya dengan memandang dan tak memiliki, atau memiliki tapi tak membersamai. Ia yang sering terlupakan, nyatanya tetap memesonaku, selalu. Aku Aku adalah orang yang mencinta dengan tiada duanya. Kamu Kamu adalah bahagia yang menyakitkan. -Bandung, middle of January-

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has directly given us 100 instructions through Al Quran : 1. Do not be rude in speech (3:159) 2. Restrain Anger (3:134) 3. Be good to others (4:36) 4. Do not be arrogant (7:13) 5. Forgive others for their mistakes (7:199) 6. Speak to people mildly (20:44) 7. Lower your voice (31:19) 8. Do not ridicule others (49:11) 9. Be dutiful to parents(17:23) 10. Do not say a word of disrespect to parents (17:23) 11. Do not enter parents’ private room without asking permission (24:58) 12. Write down the debt (2:282) 13. Do not follow anyone blindly (2:170) 14. Grant more time to repay if the debtor is in hard time (2:280) 15. Don’t consume interest (2:275) 16. Do not engage in bribery (2:188) 17. Do not break the promise (2:177) 18. Keep the trust (2:283) 19. Do not mix the truth with falsehood (2:42) 20. Judge with justice between people (4:58) 21. Stand out firmly for justice (4:135) 22. Wealth of the dead should be distributed among h...

1. I just woke up from 12-hours sleep and feel uneasy. I remember that I took a bath at 5.30, enjoyed every single drop of hot water, and then put on my comfort pajama, then read a book in my bed. It was maghrib time and I think I was fell asleep. I woke up at 6 in the morning. 2. I  am on my period now. And perhaps it caused some emotional problem. I felt not fine yesterday. I cried a little bit at my room. 3. Crying is the way I reduced my indescribable sad-feeling. Because I cannot share my feeling to others. And I actually do not like anyone to see me cry. Not because I am shy, I just feel uncomfortable for that. 4. My friends keep telling me that I am not a mature person. But I am 22 now, and I will turn 23 on May. I think I am mature enough to get married and have a child. 5. Sometimes I act childish in front of the people. It comes out naturally because I feel comfort with my surrounding. 6. I do not know why 'English structure' is so difficult (for me). 7. I...

Dear Dad, How was your day? I actually do not know how to start this letter. Well, let me thank you first. Dad, thank you for raising me up very well. When I was kid, thank you for always be my friend, my close friend, thank you for forcing me to perform five times prayer, thank you for forcing me to brush my teeth every night before I go to bed. thank you for buying me a lot of books, thank you for buying me many chocolates, thank you for teaching me to spend money wisely, thank you for helping me doing my homework, thank you for everything I can not mention here. And when I grew up, thank you for teaching me to always be thankful for everything I have in life, thank you for letting me decide my own future, thank you for letting me choose what I want to be, thank you for calling me just to remind me to have my lunch, thank you for calling me just to asking about my health, thank you for warning me to not have a boyfriend, thank you for teaching me to be a brave ...