There are three things that always make me want to run away when I faced them. They are always get me on nerves whenever I have to face one of them. The first one is entering new environment and facing new people. Second, injection and medicine, and the last one, being proposed.
Entering new environment is really exciting yet worrying me at the same time. There will be many questions come to my head, 'will I survive'? 'will the people like me?' 'will I feel suitable with them?' But the most important question is, will the people accept and respect me? myself? my presence? my weakness? Being acceptable is always be my number one problem when facing new people. That's why when I already feel comfort with my surrounding, I will always want to be with them forever, I don't want to change my circumstances. Unluckily, the world is not always work as you wish. Your surrounding will not last forever. The changes of circumstances is an inevitability that you have to accept, otherwise you will be left out.
Surprisingly, all this time, for this kind of thing, I have passed it successfully without any significant difficulty. New environment is like a new thing to be explored and new people are like new friends to be get along with. I'm trying to build my confidence and positivity. I still feel worry, but I never tried to avoid it anymore.
Injection and medicine also make me want to run away. I remember when I was in elementary school and junior high school, I would cried every time the nurses came to my school to give a vaccine for the students. The teacher would calm me down and tried to persuade me by told me the lies that it was just like an ant bites. When I was in high school, in biology class, the teacher asked us to check our own blood type. I still remember the feeling I felt that time. My knees was freezing, and my hand was totally cold like an ice. I couldn't feel my foot touching the ground. So, my teacher allowed me to not do the task and gave me another one.
In my freshman year in university, for the very first time I got a needle embedded on my skin to infuse me some nutrition for my body. I was hospitalized that time and I have to face a nightmare everyday when a nurse came to take my blood with an ugly needle. But it was a condition between death and life. Face the fear or suffer the worse illness. I have to pass through that situation in order to recover my body.
I already passed many injections. The latest one was in my neck. I'm still afraid to it but so far I passed it very well. No more cry like when I was in elementary school, just a bit sweat in my hand and foot, and a bit cold hand. Also, the heart that beats a bit faster. I think I'm getting better at dealing with this thing now.
There is one more thing that always makes me worry. Being proposed. Yes, it's laughable, isn't it? But this is what I truly feel. I cannot explain it more because I don't know the reason either. I always tell my friends about my wish to get married at a young age. I am not lying about that. But when it comes to reality, somehow I will feel worry and afraid and I want to run away. So, future husband, you are the luckiest man out there because I don't accept man's heart easily. And you are the greatest man (after my dad of course) because you can erase my fear and my doubt.
I already passed the worst level of these three things above. I think I can do it better now. I always think that I cannot make it, but turns out, I can.
Now, I'd rather to enjoy these three things instead of be worry or even run away from it. Entering a new environment? I have many new things to be find out and be explored. Hypodermic needle? It's just a feel like an ant's bites, and it only takes less than 10 seconds. Being proposed? Thank God, it means that I am noticeable. Hehe.
By the way, I will go to the hospital in one or two weeks ahead. I have to deal with the hypodermic needle again. Let's see what will happen next!
Entering new environment is really exciting yet worrying me at the same time. There will be many questions come to my head, 'will I survive'? 'will the people like me?' 'will I feel suitable with them?' But the most important question is, will the people accept and respect me? myself? my presence? my weakness? Being acceptable is always be my number one problem when facing new people. That's why when I already feel comfort with my surrounding, I will always want to be with them forever, I don't want to change my circumstances. Unluckily, the world is not always work as you wish. Your surrounding will not last forever. The changes of circumstances is an inevitability that you have to accept, otherwise you will be left out.
Surprisingly, all this time, for this kind of thing, I have passed it successfully without any significant difficulty. New environment is like a new thing to be explored and new people are like new friends to be get along with. I'm trying to build my confidence and positivity. I still feel worry, but I never tried to avoid it anymore.
Injection and medicine also make me want to run away. I remember when I was in elementary school and junior high school, I would cried every time the nurses came to my school to give a vaccine for the students. The teacher would calm me down and tried to persuade me by told me the lies that it was just like an ant bites. When I was in high school, in biology class, the teacher asked us to check our own blood type. I still remember the feeling I felt that time. My knees was freezing, and my hand was totally cold like an ice. I couldn't feel my foot touching the ground. So, my teacher allowed me to not do the task and gave me another one.
In my freshman year in university, for the very first time I got a needle embedded on my skin to infuse me some nutrition for my body. I was hospitalized that time and I have to face a nightmare everyday when a nurse came to take my blood with an ugly needle. But it was a condition between death and life. Face the fear or suffer the worse illness. I have to pass through that situation in order to recover my body.
I already passed many injections. The latest one was in my neck. I'm still afraid to it but so far I passed it very well. No more cry like when I was in elementary school, just a bit sweat in my hand and foot, and a bit cold hand. Also, the heart that beats a bit faster. I think I'm getting better at dealing with this thing now.
There is one more thing that always makes me worry. Being proposed. Yes, it's laughable, isn't it? But this is what I truly feel. I cannot explain it more because I don't know the reason either. I always tell my friends about my wish to get married at a young age. I am not lying about that. But when it comes to reality, somehow I will feel worry and afraid and I want to run away. So, future husband, you are the luckiest man out there because I don't accept man's heart easily. And you are the greatest man (after my dad of course) because you can erase my fear and my doubt.
I already passed the worst level of these three things above. I think I can do it better now. I always think that I cannot make it, but turns out, I can.
Now, I'd rather to enjoy these three things instead of be worry or even run away from it. Entering a new environment? I have many new things to be find out and be explored. Hypodermic needle? It's just a feel like an ant's bites, and it only takes less than 10 seconds. Being proposed? Thank God, it means that I am noticeable. Hehe.
By the way, I will go to the hospital in one or two weeks ahead. I have to deal with the hypodermic needle again. Let's see what will happen next!