Langsung ke konten utama

Some Random Thoughts In The Morning

1. I just woke up from 12-hours sleep and feel uneasy. I remember that I took a bath at 5.30, enjoyed every single drop of hot water, and then put on my comfort pajama, then read a book in my bed. It was maghrib time and I think I was fell asleep. I woke up at 6 in the morning.

2. I  am on my period now. And perhaps it caused some emotional problem. I felt not fine yesterday. I cried a little bit at my room.

3. Crying is the way I reduced my indescribable sad-feeling. Because I cannot share my feeling to others. And I actually do not like anyone to see me cry. Not because I am shy, I just feel uncomfortable for that.

4. My friends keep telling me that I am not a mature person. But I am 22 now, and I will turn 23 on May. I think I am mature enough to get married and have a child.

5. Sometimes I act childish in front of the people. It comes out naturally because I feel comfort with my surrounding.

6. I do not know why 'English structure' is so difficult (for me).

7. I got B- on my writing task. I got A- at the previous one. It was bad but I keep write in English for this blog. Even though I know my grammar is soooo bad. (And I know no one read this blog)

8. Like I said before, I felt something-indescribable-like-sad-or-melancholic feeling lately. And gathering with friends is one of the medicine. Being together with them is always make me feel happy and alright. But unluckily, our living allowance have not been sent yet. So we decide to stay at home this weekend.

9. Another medicine is going to a bookstore. But I am afraid if I cannot help my desire to buy a book. I have enough saving actually, but it just for emergency need.

10.  My parent is unwell. They are not in their best health. Nothing can break my heart more.

11. We have some financial problem. My dad has to pay almost 1 million rupiah in the hospital. And I also need to do general check up of my lung and my nose. But my insurance have not been payed so it cannot cover the cost.

12. I lost my appetite to eat (again). I feel sorry to my body for not giving it enough nutrition. I only ate half portion of gruel in the last 2 days. But this is a common thing. It will getting normal soon.

13. I hate my inability to speak properly in front of people.

14. We will have progress test this Thursday. And I think I already know what was wrong in the last test. I hope I can do it much better this time.

15. I think I need a new glasses. I cannot see clearly even though I already put my glasses on.

16. I love mathematics but I am not good at it. I solve some ugly equations whenever I feel bored. And I love the feeling when I get a simple solution for the complicated equation.

17. Bandung is getting warmer. It is not like the first time I came here. But my room is still cold. There are only two warm things in my room, the water and the blanket.

18. The last time I watched television is more than a month ago. So if you want to talk about the latest news, or the hot issues currently, do not talk to me. I only watch some videos on Youtube. I only watch some cute-babies videos or funny videos. And yes, I like to watch an American vs British accent videos too.

19. I have to open my TOEFL materials now. Progress test is only 5 days more! Wish me luck.

Komentar

Postingan populer dari blog ini

Ramadhan

 Walaupun masih banyak sekali kekurangan, Ramadhan tahun ini ternyata merupakan salah satu Ramadhan terbaik yang bisa saya jalani. Anak yang sudah lebih besar dan mandiri, jarak tempat tinggal dan kantor yang hanya 5 langkah, dan jam kerja yang lebih fleksibel, mungkin adalah beberapa hal yang membuat Ramadhan kali ini terasa lebih khidmat. Ramadhan-ramadhan sebelumnya sebagai ibu hamil, menyusui, ibu dengan bayi menuju toddler, jam kerja yang masih padat, membuat saya kewalahan dalam mengatur ibadah. Puasa jelas banyak yang ketinggalan. Sholat sunnah sebisanya saja, yang penting sholat wajib tidak ketinggalan. Sholat tarawih dan Qur'an? Selalu diusahakan sebisanya. Duo ibadah primadona di bulan Ramadhan ini harus diikhlaskan karena masih sering ketempelan bocil. Meskipun kadang merasa sedih karena Ramadhan selalu menjadi waktu istimewa untuk umat Muslim, nyatanya saya hanya bisa melaluinya dengan ibadah 'alakadarnya'. Lalu saya bertemu dengan sebuah nasihat dari ukhti fill...

31

 Kebetulan kemarin baru ulang tahun yang ke 31 bareng suami, dan kami merayakannya di UGD Rumah Sakit :))) Alhamdulillah ala kulli haal Dalam sebulan belakangan ada cukup banyak pemicu stress yang bikin saya cukup kewalahan. Tapi selama saya bisa punya waktu tidur malam yang cukup, maka saya baik-baik saja. 2 diantara stressor tersebut adalah berita duka yang begitu mendadak. Sebagai sesorang yang takut kehilangan, dada saya sesak setiap kali mengingat kejadiannya. Salah satu keluarga yang kami sayangi berpulang, begitu cepat. Semakin memahamkan saya bahwa kematian itu begitu dekat. Bahwa hidup kita cuma sebentar saja di dunia. Setiap kali ada berita duka, selain mendoakan almarhum, saya juga berdoa semoga Allah memberi kelapangan untuk keluarga yang ditinggalkan, karena memang sesakit itu merasakan perubahan yang mendadak, butuh waktu cukup lama untuk membiasakan diri dengan ketiadaan seseorang. Saya pun berdoa jika kelak orang tua saya yang dipanggil duluan, hati saya diberi kela...

After They Left

I used to like to be alone. I can do anything I want without worrying about others. I always enjoy my me-time. I like to go to anywhere with myself because going with others will make me be depending on them. I liked to explore new places with myself. Yes, my self is enough for my company. I enjoyed being with my own. I liked to stay at my room for hours (with bunch of snacks, good movies, good dramas, good books). I didn't need any internet connection, I never touched my phone, and the door and window were always closed. Yes, I really enjoyed that. Sometimes, I went to the public space just with my own. Looking at the people, taking picture, doing silly things, alone. Sometimes I just went around the city by motorcycle with no direction. Alone. Sometimes I spent hours in bookstore (Being surrounded by books is my mood booster). Alone. No, I'm not an introvert. Ask my close friends or family, they know me really well. I just feel comfortable with my own company. I have m...