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Being A Seafarer's Daughter

Some of my friends ussually ask me about how it feels like to be a seafarer's daughter. I didn't know the answer at first, because I thought that it was normal. Nothing's different. My childhood was awesome. One of the best part of my life. My teenage was also good. And my 20s life is amazing. Just like other girls out there. So I didn't think that I have a different life with others.

Okay, before I talk about it, let me explain it to you. My dad is a seafarer. That job requires him to go to somewhere far away for a long time. Sometimes it was 6 months, 8 months, a year, and even 13 months. I once forgot his face when I was child, then my mom gave me his photograph so I could remember his face.

He is a great man. As a father, husband and friend. He is a strict father sometimes, also a nice friend most of the times. I remember when I was child, I liked to sit at his shoulders and he took me around the house. And until now, when I'm 23 years old, he still treats me like a 5 years old child. We have the same sense of humor. We like to laugh out loud for something that perhaps not funny for other people.

Sometimes I envy those whose father always be there whenever they need. My dad wasn't here when I was born, he wasn't here when I was graduated from school and university, he wasn't here at most of my important moments. When I was a kid, I once thought that if my dad passed away, I wouldn't cry and I wouldn't be sad. That was because I'm used to his absence.

Eventho he wasn't able to be with me at most of my time for this last 23 years, but he has taught me many things that give a huge impact for my life now. These are some of them.

1. Shalat
Shalat is absolutely non-negotiable. He taught us, my brother and I, to perform shalat since we were very young, long time before we came to our akil baligh age. Until now, he still pushes us to do sunnah prayer. I remember when I was a child, he told me that if I didn't perform shalat, God would ask him and blame him for that, and God would throw him to the hell. And when I got my period for the first time, the very first thing he told me was 'from now on, you have no excuse to not performing a five time prayers'.

2. School
He is very strict about school. I once asked him, how if I don't want to go to university, because I want to be a bussinesswoman and I don't need to go to university. He said 'just go to bussiness school', then I said: 'How if I want to be a farmer?' 'take an agriculture major, whatever you want to be in the future, you still have to take a higher education.' That answer finally brings me to this level now.

3. Be independent!
This one is always be the thing that I can't thank enough. He taught me to be not depending on others. And now, I can take care of myself and my need without depending on others. I took care of my self when I was sick, alone. I went to the hospital many times, alone. That's why I felt a little bit strange when my mom accompanied me to the hospital. I'm used to doing anything with myself only. I can go to new places with my self only, thanks to dad and google maps. mhaha! Almost all of my first-time experiences was done by me alone. First flight by airplane, going to Jakarta, Bandung, Bogor, and all the areas nearby. When I was going to register at university, I went to Palu alone. And I have no one in Palu at that time. No friend, no family, no relatives. (Please girl, don't do this, you cannot travel without mahram, okay? #jodohwhenwillyoucome?).
Well, actually, there's nothing special about this, everyone can do this. haha. But sometimes I wonder about one thing. How could he let me do everything and go to everywhere only by my self? I'm his only one daughter who just entered her puberty-age. Ussually, parents would be very protective for their girl. Haha. Perhaps because it was me, that girl was me. He knows that he puts his trust on the right person.

4. Learn english as early as possible.
I never took any course when I was young because I live in small village and obviously there was no access to it. So he bought me bunch of book and vcd's of animation movies with english subtitle. He bought me an original dvds of Harry Potter 1-4 (I was a hugeeee fan of HP) because I told him that I wanted to learn english by watching movies. And now, when some of my friends find a difficulty to apply for a scholarship, I don't get any because I already have all of the documents including certificate of english proficiency with more-than-enough score.

5. Be more thankful and less complain
He taught me to always be thankful for everything we have now. He aske me to be more aware to my surrounding and appreciate everything I have in life. A warm family, a secure home, an enough supply of good food. There is no reason to complain. I have enough. We have enough.

6. Spent your money wisely.
He is a very strict person when it comes to money. I was thaught to spend my money only for things I need. I never get anything easily. I have to make an achievement to get something I want. I have to save my money to buy a book I want. That's why when I went to his hometown, I was very surprise to see my cousins' room. A closet full with clothes and bags and purses. Not to mention the shoes. When we went to mall, she bought a new bag just because it looks good although she still have some unused bags. She can get anything she want just by asking her parents. A life that is very contrary to mine. You might think that my dad doesn't have enough. Yes, he's not rich, he doesn't own any companies. But just for your information, his salary is a four digits dollar. It is more than enough for our family. He can buy me anything I want if he want to. But he chosed to not to. And I'm glad for that.

7. Dare to dream and make it come true.
This one is ussually be the hardest one. As a person with low self confidence, who always worry about the future, who doesn't believe to her own capability, it always be a hard thing for me. But my dad is always be my inspiration. A man who came from a small village, dare to dream to see the world. Which is very imposible at that time. Now, he has been to more than 40 countries in Asia, Europe and America.

Other than those things above, there are still many more lessons I got from him. But those things are enough to show that although he wasn't able to always be here with me, he still did a great job being a father. I feel so grateful to be born as his daughter. And if you ask me how it feels like to be a seaferer's daughter, my answer is clear: It just feel the same as what you guys do. Because no matter what job he has, he is still an amazing dad for me.


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