Langsung ke konten utama

Being Responsible For It Is

I turn 22 this year, if age really define maturity, then I should be mature enough these days. And you know, I have graduated from university about five months ago.

I have been staying in my hometown for five months. My world and my life seems normal, I help my mother doing homework, gather with my family, travel with cousins, try to earn money by taking a part time job, and so much more.

But now somehow I feel bored. I'm doing nothing but sleep, wake up, and sleep again. I feel like I have to do something. This is not the life I want. My life has to get in rhyme.

I realize that some of my friends are getting married, some already have a kid, some already got a fine job. And I stuck here. With nothing to do. Then, I have to decide what I'm going to do in the future. I have stayed in my comfort zone for too long. Some of my family suggest me to find a job so that I can earn money, some said that I should get a scholarship and take my master degree, and some said I should start to think about marriage.

I know that I have to leave my home for whatever choice I take. I know that I have to leave my comfort zone because there is no growth in comfort zone. I know that I have to compete with other people out there.

But what makes me worry is: where will my choice leads me? How if I regret it and I cannot go back?

I'm a pessimist person. I always worry about the future. I always worry about the outcomes of something I will do or I have done. Then what about the future plans? What to do? I always think about it. I always wonder about what will happen in ten or twenty years from now, what will I make my future?

Future is mystery and I always wonder about it. But there is one thing for sure, wherever it takes me, it always ends up the way it should be.

Someone once told me: "Live is all about the choices, and future is unpredictable. Just do whatever you want and whatever makes you happy. But, be responsible for it. Don't worry too much about the outcomes or the future. Those are things you have no control of. Just do your best and let God do the rest"

Then I realize something:
Making a decision for your life is not hard, being responsible for it is.
Label:

Postingan populer dari blog ini

Glimpse of Memorable Memories

I am writing this with Kiss the Rain and Stay in Memory by Yiruma playing in Youtube. It seriously making me baper . I am trying to remember every single thing we've been through together in the past 3 months. But this is not gonna be a long post that show every details. It's just the voice of  my heart (I don't know how to say curahan hati in English). Sorry if there are some things missed. Our story started at 29th of November 2015. In the day before the opening of our course program, we decided to meet in the gate of ITB for looking for a language center building. There were only 8 of us. Some of us maybe already knew each other because we came from the same region. But mostly, that was our first meet. Oh yes, I already met Cintya the beautiful moon accidentally in Juanda airport before. The next day, we finally met each other. All of us. I remember we sat in the front, introduced our name and the place where we came from. I also remember the Jembernese came togethe...
9 komentar
Baca selengkapnya

Ramadhan

 Walaupun masih banyak sekali kekurangan, Ramadhan tahun ini ternyata merupakan salah satu Ramadhan terbaik yang bisa saya jalani. Anak yang sudah lebih besar dan mandiri, jarak tempat tinggal dan kantor yang hanya 5 langkah, dan jam kerja yang lebih fleksibel, mungkin adalah beberapa hal yang membuat Ramadhan kali ini terasa lebih khidmat. Ramadhan-ramadhan sebelumnya sebagai ibu hamil, menyusui, ibu dengan bayi menuju toddler, jam kerja yang masih padat, membuat saya kewalahan dalam mengatur ibadah. Puasa jelas banyak yang ketinggalan. Sholat sunnah sebisanya saja, yang penting sholat wajib tidak ketinggalan. Sholat tarawih dan Qur'an? Selalu diusahakan sebisanya. Duo ibadah primadona di bulan Ramadhan ini harus diikhlaskan karena masih sering ketempelan bocil. Meskipun kadang merasa sedih karena Ramadhan selalu menjadi waktu istimewa untuk umat Muslim, nyatanya saya hanya bisa melaluinya dengan ibadah 'alakadarnya'. Lalu saya bertemu dengan sebuah nasihat dari ukhti fill...
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya

After They Left

I used to like to be alone. I can do anything I want without worrying about others. I always enjoy my me-time. I like to go to anywhere with myself because going with others will make me be depending on them. I liked to explore new places with myself. Yes, my self is enough for my company. I enjoyed being with my own. I liked to stay at my room for hours (with bunch of snacks, good movies, good dramas, good books). I didn't need any internet connection, I never touched my phone, and the door and window were always closed. Yes, I really enjoyed that. Sometimes, I went to the public space just with my own. Looking at the people, taking picture, doing silly things, alone. Sometimes I just went around the city by motorcycle with no direction. Alone. Sometimes I spent hours in bookstore (Being surrounded by books is my mood booster). Alone. No, I'm not an introvert. Ask my close friends or family, they know me really well. I just feel comfortable with my own company. I have m...
2 komentar
Baca selengkapnya