The Unspoken

There is a period when I was too lazy to write, and also, there is a period when I had so many things I want to write. And lately, it seems like my writing mood is on fire, hahaha! Unluckily, now the internet is no longer available in my room like when I was in Bandung. So I have to write it in microsoft word, then post it when I find a wifi. I don’t know why I have many things in my head lately. And I just want to write it down. This blog is like a box to my thoughts. From the tiny part to the crucial ones. And for the sake of improving my english, I write it in english. But I’m sorry for the broken grammar. I really really bad at grammar, especially about tenses. I even made many mistakes for some very basic rules such as subject and verb agreement. -______-. Sometimes I like to re-read my posts, and I found many grammatical errors. If I’m not lazy, I will edit them right away. And one of the purposes of this blog is to improve my writing skill. But when I re-read it, I realize...

This is just suddenly crossed my mind when I tried to question myself about my motivation to get married. Out of religion, out of society’s pressure. And my answer was very standard, very basic and also very mainstream. I want to have a ‘legal’ boyfriend. And also, there is one question that I never stop to ask to myself, am I ready? I will answer it later. You might think that I watch too many dramas and romance movies, or read love story novels, and they successfully brainwashed me about the idea of marriage. That marriage is about laughing together, or warm hug from the back while you’re cooking, or holding hand while enjoy the sunset on beach, or kiss on the forehead before going to work, or a pillow talk before sleep, or any other thing about living happily ever after. Honestly, Those are things that I expected on marriage. As a product of a very successful marriage, all I think about marriage is only its good part. But if you think that I didn’t consider about the bad p...

In some previous post, I mentioned about things that got me run away . One of them is needle and medicine. But I think I didn’t talk much about medicine. It’s not that I am afraid of it, It’s because I don’t like it. I hate medicine. I am rarely sick since I was little. And even when I was sick, I wouldn’t take any medicine. Even when I get a fever, instead of taking a paracetamol, I prefer to drink more water, get more bedrest, and the next day, I will feel much better. I refuse to go to doctor because I know that the doctor will give me bunch of medicine. It went that way until my last year in university. Oh well, in my first year, I was hospitalized and I had to take a medicine every day. And in the second year, once again, I was hospitalized, but I didn’t take any medicine. Every morning the nurse came to my room to give a medicine, but I never touched it. In my last year, I had a very hectic schedule. There was almost no weekend, no holiday. And at that time, I often get...

I am writing this right after I accompanied my mom watering the flowers. I want to write about her since long long time ago, but I didn’t know how to start it ( excuse ). My mother is a great mother. The greatest mother on earth. I like almost everything about her. She is tough, religious, independent, beautiful, smart, good at cooking, and many other good things. I have no idea how lucky my father is to have such a complete package in one person like my mother. My mother is a full-time housewife. She was engaged with commerce for years, but something happened and she stopped. As a housewife, her family’s needs always comes first. She always ensured that my father, my brother and me get our meal on breakfast, lunch, and dinner on time. She does all the housework. She also takes care on house and yard. Especially when we don’t have a helper. My home is pretty big, and the yard is even bigger ( sounds like showing off, huh? NO, it’s not ). Taking care of this house and yard is ...

Couple weeks ago, before I came back to my hometown, I went to Trans Studio Bandung with my friends. And It took me by surprised when I found myself at one of the most dangerous rides (in my opinion), a giant swing. For my friends, it was nothing, but for me, it was the highest achievement of the year. The curiosity and the feeling of ‘I can do it’ force me to try this thing that I avoided before. Don’t ask about the feeling while the rides was playing. I never opened my eyes from the very start to the very end. What make me feel good was the feeling I had after that. I cannot describe it into words, but at that time, what came to my mind was ‘ see? It was just that, you didn’t die, you're still alive, it just one minute of flying and now you are here, safe .’ It always happens many times in my life. When I have to face things I don’t like, or I feel afraid of. In my second year of university, the association of mathematics students arranged a national seminar on maths mode...

Few weeks ago, I met one of my best friends in junior high school until high school. Well, we are still best friend now. But she moved to another school out of this town in the second year of high school. We talked about many things, from our past, our friends, our dreams, to the present, the day we live our life now. She is a house wife now. She is a wife and also a mother for one year old kid. Yes, this friend of mine, got married and became a mother in a very young age, 20 years old. Honestly, I neve r imagined it before. In school, she was a very active, smart, and critical student. What I saw on her future was an energetic and smart woman with a good career. I though that she will get married when she is 27, after achieving all of her goals. She told about her life as a housewife, how she managed to take care of her baby since weeks 3, alone. Yes, all by herself. Most of young mother, especially for their first child, needs help from their mother or anyone else to take ca...

I used to like to be alone. I can do anything I want without worrying about others. I always enjoy my me-time. I like to go to anywhere with myself because going with others will make me be depending on them. I liked to explore new places with myself. Yes, my self is enough for my company. I enjoyed being with my own. I liked to stay at my room for hours (with bunch of snacks, good movies, good dramas, good books). I didn't need any internet connection, I never touched my phone, and the door and window were always closed. Yes, I really enjoyed that. Sometimes, I went to the public space just with my own. Looking at the people, taking picture, doing silly things, alone. Sometimes I just went around the city by motorcycle with no direction. Alone. Sometimes I spent hours in bookstore (Being surrounded by books is my mood booster). Alone. No, I'm not an introvert. Ask my close friends or family, they know me really well. I just feel comfortable with my own company. I have m...