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A medicine, A disease, A confession


In some previous post, I mentioned about things that got me run away. One of them is needle and medicine. But I think I didn’t talk much about medicine. It’s not that I am afraid of it, It’s because I don’t like it. I hate medicine.

I am rarely sick since I was little. And even when I was sick, I wouldn’t take any medicine. Even when I get a fever, instead of taking a paracetamol, I prefer to drink more water, get more bedrest, and the next day, I will feel much better. I refuse to go to doctor because I know that the doctor will give me bunch of medicine.

It went that way until my last year in university. Oh well, in my first year, I was hospitalized and I had to take a medicine every day. And in the second year, once again, I was hospitalized, but I didn’t take any medicine. Every morning the nurse came to my room to give a medicine, but I never touched it. In my last year, I had a very hectic schedule. There was almost no weekend, no holiday. And at that time, I often get a headache. And I couldn’t help it, I took a medicine to reduce the pain. But if I didn’t have something urgent to do, and I have time to take a rest, I wouldn’t take any medicine.

But headache was not the problem. The problem was, I frequently got a nosebleed. At first I thought it was alright, until that one night, I couldn’t sleep because there was something like orange liquid flowed out from my nose. I had a hard time to sleep because it was unstoppable and I didn’t know how to handle it. The next day, I went to the doctor and I got bunch of medicine. I hate it.

Everything was finally getting better until I realized something. There was something protrude like a bump on my neck. I went to the doctor again, and she gave me a medicine. I consume all of the medicine but I didn’t get any better. Fortunately, that bump didn’t painful and irritate me to do my activities. So I just did my activities normally and didn’t put much attention on it. 

Long story short, I finally realized that there were some more bump on my neck. There are three on my left neck, and two on the right.  I went to a doctor and the doctor asked me to do something like medical check. And, the conclusion was, I got a very famous disease, tuberculosis on my lymph gland. It shocked me. It was the day before my flight to Bandung. And the worst part was, I have to consume an antibiotic consistently for nine months. I have to deal with something I hate the most, for the next nine months.

After one month in Bandung, There was another surprise came from that ugly bacteria. It also attacks my lung. And what make me feel desperate was the side effect of the medicine. The schedule of taking that medicine is an hour before breakfast. I take it after praying subuh so I can have my breakfast after six. Don’t ask me the feeling after taking the medicine. I got a stomachache, a very painful stomachache. I was sweated and I couldn’t get up for a while. And because I have a class at 7 o’clock, I have to drag my self to the bathroom, then prepared to go to campus. I remember walking through Dayang Sumbi, and I have to strengthen my step because one of the side effect is feeling dizzy. It makes my step a bit unstable because the ground seems like moving a bit. I also ever felt like the world stop turning around, everything is dark and I couldn’t see anything. Alhamdulillah it was only happened twice or maybe thrice. And it only took me about a minute to get back to the normal situation.

Alhamdulillah, I’ve passed that hard time successfully, The side effect was no longer annoys me. And the last time I went to doctor, the dose of the medicine has been reduced. Now I only take it thrice a week, and the size of the tablet is much smaller. So far there is no more dizziness, and the stomachache wasn’t as painful as it was before. Everything is getting better now.

I don’t know what’s on my mind when I’m writing this. I never told honestly to my friends about this thing. Simply just because I don’t want them to stay away from me. This disease is an infectious disease. But it’s not spread easily. As far as I know, it spread only when I coughing or sneezing. The doctor keep telling me to cover my mouth every time I coughing or sneezing. And I did. I don’t want my friends and family suffering this ugly and annoying disease.

And now, after writing this, whether my friends read it or not, I still feel much better and my head get a bit spacey.


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