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About Marriage


This is just suddenly crossed my mind when I tried to question myself about my motivation to get married. Out of religion, out of society’s pressure. And my answer was very standard, very basic and also very mainstream. I want to have a ‘legal’ boyfriend. And also, there is one question that I never stop to ask to myself, am I ready? I will answer it later.

You might think that I watch too many dramas and romance movies, or read love story novels, and they successfully brainwashed me about the idea of marriage. That marriage is about laughing together, or warm hug from the back while you’re cooking, or holding hand while enjoy the sunset on beach, or kiss on the forehead before going to work, or a pillow talk before sleep, or any other thing about living happily ever after.

Honestly, Those are things that I expected on marriage. As a product of a very successful marriage, all I think about marriage is only its good part. But if you think that I didn’t consider about the bad part, you are absolutely wrong. I fully understand that there are some consequences of every choice, including marriage.

I’m perfectly understand that nobody is flawless, neither is our partner. And I absolutely know that one thing I have to face in marriage life is compromised. Compromise to my husband’s bad habits, or maybe his attitude that I don’t like, or other differences between both of us that might cause misunderstanding or argument.

I know that we might arguing each other, from the very insignificant things, to the very urgent ones. And we might feel upset of each others' stubbornness, or tired with each others' selfishness, or bored with all of the mundane routines. Not to mention the occassional stress and any other similar things that are surely undeniable.

But you should know about this, I’m thoroughly okay with that. As long as we can keep our commitment. As long as we can understand and accept each others’ weakness. As long as we can tolerate each others’ failures. As long as we know our own responsibilities as a husband and wife. As long as we have an endless try to fix ourselves, well, we cannot fix it, but we can improve it, a continuous improvement.

I’m absolutely fine with sleeping in the same bed with the same person every night, or seeing the same face everyday for years, or growing old with same person forever. As long as we respect to each other, as long as we try to communicate effectively each other, as long as we can find our own way to fall in love to each other every single day. As long as we can give comfort to each other.

Sounds like I’m facing my wedding soon, huh? (Haha, poor you, my dear self!). But, wait. With all those thinking and consideration above, you might think that I’m ready to get married, phisically and mentally. Well, to be brutally honest, No, I’m not. I don’t know the reason. I like to see my cousins and my friends getting married, but somehow, I always feel like I’m not ready if someday it comes to my turn.

I am not ready. No further explanation. 

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